Hello my friends,
Welcome back to your weekly mental health check! This week’s topic: how being a people pleaser can actually make you hate other people. OK, that’s a bit harsh – but trying to be everybody’s darling can lead to burnout. If you’re constantly putting other people’s needs before your own, it will take a toll on your energy, your happiness, and your goals. And it’s incredibly difficult to change, even when you’re aware of the pattern. I remember a patient telling me years ago how she seemed to have made zero progress in learning to say no – she realised this while rubbing sunscreen on the back of a stranger on the beach. She simply didn’t know how to say no. Why is it so hard, even with complete strangers?
We humans are social beings – we want to be loved. But this wonderful trait can be exploited by others, sometimes knowingly, but often unconsciously, as people aren’t always aware of where our boundaries lie. This week, reflect on a social situation that made you feel uncomfortable. Where was your boundary, and when did the other person cross it – such as asking for a favour you didn’t want to do? Is this a common pattern? Next time someone crosses that boundary, stop. Think. Don’t rush into doing something you don’t want to do. Decline politely – and be proud of yourself.
Be more “bad”!
Stay tuned for next week’s topic, where we will look at simple ways to effectively reduce stress.
Take care – and take charge!
See you next week!
It’s me, Jules, your biggest fan
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