Hello my friends,
Welcome back to your weekly mental health check! This week’s topic is one of humanity’s oldest struggles – the pursuit of happiness. Is everything we do in life aimed at making us happier? Is it that simple, or is there more to life? Paradoxically, striving for happiness is making us more depressed and burned out. Avoiding any kind of discomfort while maximising our own profit and well-being can wreak havoc on our ability to regulate emotions. We lose the flexibility to adapt to life’s ever changing circumstances because we get used to putting ourselves and our goals first.
And here’s the thing: research has shown that there are many situations where striving for a positive state actually backfires (such as in exams, high-pressure work situations, athletic performance). Furthermore, those who do find happiness, tend to strive not for pleasure, but for meaning. Quick hedonic fixes – food, scrolling on the phone, money or other types of consumption – will never lead to lasting happiness, and often actively sabotage it.
I was on holiday recently in the south of France and Monaco. Walking around you see billionaires’ yachts everywhere, each one bigger than the last. Beautiful? Absolutely. Luxurious? Without question. But, I couldn’t help noticing that the owners often lounge about looking bored. Many of them inherited their wealth – they never had the chance to strive for something because everything was handed to them. Compare that to a scene at an average motorway hotel on the way back from our holiday: a big family around a table, having the best time. Laughing, talking, clearly enjoying life. Which begs the question: what actually makes us happy? Definitely not money alone. We seem to need some kind of purpose. We need goals.
Follow the yellow brick road…
So what can we learn from that? And how can we put it into practice? Try including a daily ritual of purpose. Be kind to someone. Help someone. Do something extra – something you normally wouldn’t do. Leave your comfort zone.
Stay tuned for next week’s topic, where we will look at the beauty of neurodiversity.
Take care – and take charge!
See you next week,
It’s me, Jules, your biggest fan
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