Hello my friends,
Welcome back to your weekly mental health check! This week, we are continuing with our mini-series on “negative” emotions. Today, it is jealousy. Often labelled the green-eyed monster, but is it really a monster we should keep at bay?
Jealousy is a complex emotion. You may feel anxiety and anger, grief and despair. It can consume our thoughts, cloud our judgment and, at its most intense, even trigger aggression. Jealousy usually involves a loved one and a third person, who is perceived as a threat to the relationship and takes its circles from there.
Research shows that jealousy is a powerful emotion that can override all logical thinking. It can make us rage and do things we later regret. The common view is that jealousy stems from insecurity, and that we should work on ourselves to overcome our insecurities and, in turn, our jealousy. But is it really that simple? Research also shows that jealousy can be a powerful reminder of how much we value a relationship – and that we should never take one for granted.
In the end, jealousy can stem from many different emotions and appraisal patterns, but often underlying it is the fear of losing someone loved. That’s why talking about jealousy matters. We’re often ashamed of feeling it, so we hide it, suppress it or pretend it isn’t there. But unspoken emotions rarely disappear. They can build until they become overwhelming. Opening up about this emotion can lead to a much stronger bond and a more secure relationship.
Three’s a crowd…
Of course, jealousy can also be a warning sign. It may point to problems in a relationship, a lack of trust or even genuine disloyalty. But we can’t understand what the emotion is telling us if we refuse to acknowledge it. Don’t let it become the raging, green-eyed monster; instead, use it as a signal of what is important to you and what is worth fighting for. What does it reveal about what – and who – you value? What might it be asking you to pay attention to?
And if you’re on the receiving end of your partner’s jealousy, try to meet it with empathy. If they’re opening up about something that makes them feel insecure or jealous, appreciate the vulnerability it takes to share that with you. Instead of dismissing their feelings, take the time to understand where they’re coming from. These conversations can be an opportunity to create more trust, feel more connected, and ultimately deepen your bond.
Stay tuned for next week, when we will look at the power of anxiety.
Take care – and take charge!
See you next week,
It’s me, Jules, your biggest fan
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