The Way You Make Me Feel: Why Do Seemingly Nice People Leave Us Feeling Uneasy?

August 31, 2026

Hello my friends,

Welcome back to your weekly mental health check! This week’s topic: how other people make us feel. Ever left a conversation with a nagging, unpleasant feeling — without knowing why? The other person was polite. Friendly, even. But somehow you felt unwelcome. You just can’t put a finger on it. I feel it in so many social situations….the other person was friendly, but made me feel uncomfortable.

Research shows that in social settings, our brain is hypervigilant — and especially open to subliminal perception. It picks up on micro-signals we are not even aware of. A major subliminal signal is whether or not someone mirrors us. Mirroring is a sign of mutual sympathy, empathy and trust. We have “mirror neurons” in our brain that observe the other person and imitate their gestures, tone of voice or posture.

Feeling love and loved!

Surround yourself with people who truly like you for who you are

We do it subconsciously — and our unconscious notices when the other person does it too. We smile, they smile. We cross our arms, they synchronise. But maybe that “nice” person wasn’t so nice after all. Your unconscious caught that judging look, that frown before answering, or that mild negative tone in their voice. We sense that something is off – somehow we cannot warm up to that other person. It works the other way around too: sometimes we genuinely enjoy someone’s presence without knowing why. Of course, there will always be socially awkward people – even whole nations. Us Germans with our famous German stare! Who wouldn’t be intimidated by that? But all in all, we have a gut feeling which tends to be right about whether someone likes us and sympathises with us. This week, observe yourself in social situations. How do you feel during the conversation? Check if you can gauge the mirroring process. Do you and the other person synchronise? And how does that make you feel? And be honest with yourself – spend less time with people who don’t make you feel good.

Stay tuned for next week, where we will look at burnout! Do you burn, or do you burn out?

Take care – and take charge!

See you next week,

It’s me, Jules, your biggest fan

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Jules

4 responses to “The Way You Make Me Feel: Why Do Seemingly Nice People Leave Us Feeling Uneasy?”

Ulrich Schilling

August 31, 2026

Uneasy in Social situations, detecting Signals from other people- Not easy, but important. Good as always!

Reply
1. Jules
  
  August 31, 2026
  
  Thank you for the comment! Absolutely, not easy! Often, we have a very good „gut feeling“ about others, which is essentially our brain picking up on these micro signals. We need to listen to our brain more ….
  
  Reply
Karl D.

August 31, 2026

Social awkwardness sounds very familiar to me in many situations—for example, when meeting other parents at my children’s school. However, sometimes what feels like awkwardness may simply be insecurity on the other person’s part. In my experience, in those moments, making a little more effort to start a conversation can help ease the tension and make the situation more comfortable for both sides. Btw I like the mirroring part too and will watch out for it more. Looking forward to the next article.

Cheers
Karl

Reply
1. Jules
  
  August 31, 2026
  
  That’s true!! Social awkwardness can distort our perception about others, and will often improve once we get to know someone better. However, if the uneasy feeling persists, it’s our brain picking up on those mirroring signals, which can shed light on the more unconscious, subliminal message the other person is sending us…..
  
  Reply